I remember the love

I remember the love I used to feel when I saw you.
The way my heart would beat faster when I was around you.
The anticipation of when I would see you next or a simple phone call.
The way you would get up at four in the morning and make me coffee and breakfast so I could leave the house with a smile on my face.
Those are the things I remember.
The way you worshiped every curve on my body.
How you couldn't wait to hold me every night we were together.
I remember the love I felt in my heart.
That is the love that drove me to be kind, compassionate and a great partner.
Now I can remember that love, but I no longer feel it in my heart.
It is simply a memory that I wish I could reach out and grasp.
Instead my mind fills with all the ways that I was not showed that I was loved.
Love replaced with disrespect, jealously, hatred and cruelty.
It eased over us so very slowly, like a poison seeping into my veins and taking over my body.
I didn't want to believe that something so wonderful that had felt so right could be this wrong.
My soulmate, confidant turned ugly and overbearing.
I let my soul wither in the house in which love no longer dwelled.
It cried out for love and respect when it no longer had enough to sustain life.
I can still remember the love because I see it more now then I have in a long time.
But I cannot grasp onto something that I remember being right when it turned out so wrong.
So in my heart I know I must let it go and just remember the love that I felt for you in that stage of my life.


~Cheers, Julie