Decision number two

I had two major issues looming over me recently. This morning I was able to acknowledge the direction of one of them. Actually I was already in the right direction, just feeling doubts. More or less trying to avoid the pain which is inevitable. At this point in the game I have felt a lot of pain around my marriage, so what's a little more? I mean a little more when moving the right direction. In two weeks I will be divorced for the better of all people involved.

After I drank my coffee, read the paper and showered (the revelation moment) I remembered the list of issues from yesterdays trip. I make lists to so the issues are more real. Keeping these things cooped up my head is dangerous. For now the list exists and I have no reason to not resolve them. Without even looking at this mighty list, I just started working. I drug every item out of my room, searching for a place that would bring me peace when I needed it. By deciding to undertake this huge task, I was making a choice. To box up my belongings and prepare to move or to clear out the shit and stay. For once in my life, my dad has made a plan for me, expressed it and waited patiently for me to respond. My initial feeling is that I am 34 and need my space. But after the post that I made earlier today, I realized it is time for me to put my kids future first. I am not going to list word for word what the offer is that was proposed to me on Tuesday, but it did make me think. For now this is my home, when I am done here, I will have my own home that I have bought by myself. Independence at it's finest!