In the KNOW
Today I am in the KNOW.
Although my week has at times felt like a mixed bag of emotions....I find myself returning to what I know. That I am ending a chapter in my life, and starting a new one. There are times, such as I have had this week that distract me from the reality of my marriage. John and I talked today about the failure of our relationship. That there just weren't enough of the good times to keep us together. One of the hardest things that we have both had to accept is that we are getting along very well right now. I am the person that he met nearly 10 years ago, the person that he loved so much. But I am in the KNOW. At times I have to stop talking to him and remind him that I know, return to my center of reality. It appears, again I say appears that he is in the know as well. If we can do this in agreement we will be better people, I can feel that.
The best thing about today is that I felt free to talk about myself and how I feel. That I "think" I have some feelings of sadness. Today some of them crept up and almost over took me. Strange to cry with your spouse over your loses when it is in direct correlation with him. As the day gets closer to him leaving the sadness and potential fear of loss overtakes me. In a sad way I have waited for this.
Although my week has at times felt like a mixed bag of emotions....I find myself returning to what I know. That I am ending a chapter in my life, and starting a new one. There are times, such as I have had this week that distract me from the reality of my marriage. John and I talked today about the failure of our relationship. That there just weren't enough of the good times to keep us together. One of the hardest things that we have both had to accept is that we are getting along very well right now. I am the person that he met nearly 10 years ago, the person that he loved so much. But I am in the KNOW. At times I have to stop talking to him and remind him that I know, return to my center of reality. It appears, again I say appears that he is in the know as well. If we can do this in agreement we will be better people, I can feel that.
The best thing about today is that I felt free to talk about myself and how I feel. That I "think" I have some feelings of sadness. Today some of them crept up and almost over took me. Strange to cry with your spouse over your loses when it is in direct correlation with him. As the day gets closer to him leaving the sadness and potential fear of loss overtakes me. In a sad way I have waited for this.
posted by Internet_chick at 8:59 PM
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